Smile. Behind the clouds is a rainbow.

I have a new blog.

Its my personal, non-diabetes blog.

Follow guysss! Im all alone over there!

http//:peachrookie.tumblr.com

I don’t want to live anymore.

My life has been so shit. I’ve never been happy and it’s just getting worse.

In the last few years i have:

Been diagnosed with diabetes

Had my parents divorce

Nearly died

Been in hospital over 15 times

Developed severe depression (which my doctor didn’t take me seriously for)

Gained no A Levels

Ran out of money completely

Lost all my friends

I’ve become completely numb to everything, i don’t care anymore, i don’t see the point. The ‘other side’ is looking very tempting.

Sick of being tired all the time from a shit diet.

Also wanna lose some weight.

So…lets do this shit!

I don’t know why I find it so hard to be happy.

So….

It was my brothers birthday on Tuesday and i was having a really bad day.

Just as we were going out to dinner i burst into tears and ran up to my room.

My mum came up and found my in a ball in hysterics. Major breakdown.

So i told her everything.

Shes had depression since i was born (my grandad died 5 days after i was born) so she knows what its like.

She tried to convince me to go to the doctor but i just kept saying no.

But after thinking about it i’ve realised i cant go on this way.

So I have a doctors appointment at 4 today :/

Where do i start to tell the doctor though?!

Someone help me please…

The word friend means fuck all to some people these days.

My laptop charger is broken ):
Don’t know how long till I’ll be back on Tumblr ):

Eating a slice of cake and someone points to your friend and says ‘overweight’ then points to you and says ‘diabetes’.

Fuck off.

Took my Lantus last night and my Novorapid this morning for breakfast.

Its a step forward.

Just gotta keep it going.

After months of sitting around doing nothing, time to get my life back on track.

I’ve just emailed countless nurseries asking if they’ll take me on as an apprentice.

Now to start getting back on track with diabetes.

Blood sugar: 29.9mmols.

Yikes.

Insuline here we come!

Everyones sick of me being down 24/7.

I’ve never liked bothering people when im down but now the only person that really listened and wanted to know what was wrong is getting tired of me.

I just don’t know what to do anymore.

I had a breakdown and panic attack the other day but i dont have them anywhere near as often as i was.

Now i just feel numb all the time, like theres no point in anything.

I just don’t know.